One of the most beloved, endearing Christmas movies of all time is the John Hughes and Chris Columbus classic Home Alone. Despite its release nearly 30 years ago, it’s still a film that young audiences enjoy, and one that adults who grew up watching on just about every holiday still remember fondly and quote to this day. Indeed, much like Miracle on 34th Street and A Christmas Story, this is one film that’s become synonymous with the holidays.
This is no accident, given the enjoyable, heartfelt narrative, strengthened by some goofy quips and amusing zingers, namely from the charming protagonist, Kevin McCallister, played by Macaulay Culkin. Let’s travel back to 1990 and take a look at 10 of the funniest, most memorable quotes from the film that fans still like to repeat to this day.
“I Had A Friend Who Got Nailed Because There Was A Rumor He Wore Dinosaur Pajamas.”
This quote isn’t quite as remembered as some of the others that follow on our list, partly because of its length and the casual manner in which Kevin slips this by. Regardless, it actually manages to be one of the more humorous bits of dialogue in the film, and frankly, a pretty underrated one.
The fact that a kid would get beat up merely for a rumor he sports these particular PJs is amusing enough, but so is the context of this more serious scene. It concludes a pretty emotional and heartfelt moment in which Kevin’s neighbor, Mr. Marley, is discussing a fight he had with his son, and his contemplating reuniting after much time without seeing one another.
“You’re What The French Call Les INCOMPÉTENTS.”
This is just one of those timeless gems that viewers can’t help but recite along with Kevin’s sister, Linnie, as she teases him for his “helplessness” and his lack of ability to pack his own suitcase - this despite the fact that he’s only 8. This seems like a weird, random line, though contextually it makes sense to viewers, as the McCallister’s are on the eve of their big trip to Paris.
The smarmy way in which Linnie says the line with that cheesy French accent makes for a memorable, endearing line. And hey - it’s really just a fun one to repeat.
“Polka King Of The Midwest?”
The late great John Candy offers one of the funnier performances in Home Alone, most of which consists of his back-and-forth banter with fellow comedian Catherine O’Hara. It certainly helps that the two have co-starred in Chicago’s Second City improv comedy show. These two actors have tremendous chemistry during their comedic bits here and it certainly shows.
Gus (John Candy) rambling and casual boasting about his rather obscure local Polka group - which Kate clearly hasn’t heard of - makes for one of the funnier and more endearing scenes in the film. There’s much to love about this scene in general, especially his rattling off some of the comical names of his band and their songs, like “Kiss Me Polka,” and “Yamahoozie Polka.”
“Why The Hell Are You Dressed Like A Chicken?”
Following one of Kevin’s more visually fun traps, which basically involves Harry getting the makeshift, home edition of being tarred and feathered, the “Wet Bandits” gaze upon eachother with bewilderment after being “tore up” in his “funhouse.”
Marv then chimes in with this line, which still proves chuckle-worthy even after countless viewings of Home Alone. This cheeky comparison is a pretty amusing exaggeration, though the white feathers that decorate Harry, particularly those two on either side of his head, do tend to look a bit chicken-esque.
“If It Makes You Feel Any Better, I Forgot My Reading Glasses.”
Kevin’s Uncle Frank tends to be a smarmy and often blunt adult figure to our protagonist. On the flip side, though, he does provide quite a bit of dry humor, somewhat at the expense of Kevin - particularly in the sequel where he records an angry Frank cursing him out after walking in on him taking a shower.
He does have his share of zingers in the first film, too, however; not the least of which is this line. It somewhat reestablishes his unfavorable view and lack of care of the boy, considering he’s likening Peter and Kate leaving their son home alone to merely forgetting his reading glasses.
“Five Boys, Six Girls, Two Drivers, & A Partridge In A Pear Tree.”
As both a clever zinger and a means to reestablish that this is, in fact, a Christmas film, Kevin’s sister Megan responds with this cheeky lyrical reference to The 12 Days of Christmas, when asked by her mother if she did a headcount. It’s a funny bit of dialogue that helps this character stand out amidst a plethora of cast members that comprise the many McCallisters, most of which have pretty limited screentime.
While it’s a humorous bit, it manages to be an untrue one, unfortunately for Kevin, as Megan accidentally counted one of the neighbor boys during the accounting, mistaking the child for him.
“No Clothes On Anybody, Sickening!”
One of the first things an ecstatic Kevin does when realizing he’s now got the large family house to himself is, naturally, rummage through the bedroom of his older brother, Buzz; a guy who seems to get a kick out of giving his younger sibling a hard time. This leads to a couple of amusing revelations, one of which involves a young and naive Kevin flipping through a copy of his brother’s Playboy magazine.
This makes for a humorous line of dialogue that reminds us just how young and oblivious Kevin is. His look of befuddlement as he shakes his head and tosses the magazine aside just completes this classic moment.
“…After Six, Seven Weeks, He Came Around & Started Talking Again.”
One of the more subtly amusing lines in the film ironically comes at a pretty glum time, as Kevin’s mom is being driven home to reunite with her son, after beating herself up about being a bad parent. Gus proceeds to make her feel better by telling a rather grim tale about his son, who had once been apparently left in a funeral parlor all day with the corpse.
As a welcomed bit of comic relief and to lighten the mood (at least for the audience), he then slips in this gem of a quote. The nonchalant way in which he makes such an outlandish statement makes it even funnier.
“Buzz, Your Girlfriend, Woof!”
The magazine discovery was humorous as it was, but Kevin, in fact, happens on another item when scavenging through the belongings of Buzz. In this scene, he comes across a rather peculiar picture of a wide-eyed, braces-wearing girl, who we quickly discover is the girlfriend of his brother. Kevin’s reaction, once again, is pretty priceless.
It’s a bit of a juvenile gag, even when you consider that this girl was, in fact, a boy sporting a wig and what’s almost sure to be a purposely over-the-top expression. Though these qualities are part of what makes this such a funny bit, even when going back and rewatching as a seemingly more mature adult. This is just one of those all-time classic lines that people not only remember, but still quote to this day.
“Keep The Change, You Filthy Animal.”
One of the most memorable and amusing moments in Home Alone is ironically a scene from an entirely separate film being watched by Kevin - a fictional film within a film, if you will. This hilariously stock 50’s style noir and/or crime caper, known as “Angels With Filthy Souls,” looks and sounds about as adult-themed as it gets, which makes it all the funnier when an 8-year-old Kevin is kicking back with some ice cream while watching it.
A deliciously cheesy scene involving a criminal named “Snakes” is capped off emphatically with this great, random Schwarzenegger-style one-liner from the mob boss or crime syndicate head, Johnny.
Next: Home Alone: 5 Reasons It’s The Best Christmas Movie (& 5 Reasons It’s Not)
