Harry Potter and Inception. One fictional universe is where magic happens, and the other fictional universe is where people have figured out how to make some kind of magic happen within the human mind itself. But what would happen if these two worlds collided?
The characters in Inception are all totally extraordinary in their own right, and in their own way. This team is an elite squad who have mastered a skill that most people couldn’t (literally or figuratively) dream of, and every person brings something very specific and unique to the table. But if the whole dream team were sent off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which Hogwarts house would they have wound up in? This is every major character in Inception, along with their Hogwarts house.
Maurice Fischer - Slytherin
To be fair, the audience only gets to know Maurice Fischer through the eyes of his son Robert, and it seems reasonable to say that his son doesn’t see him in the best light.
But even putting that aside, basic common sense tells us that any man who manages to nearly monopolize the energy market for the entire world has got to be a pretty cutthroat individual. Realistically speaking, someone like Maurice would probably fit into any one of the Hogwarts houses, because to get where he did requires more than just cunning, but since his ambition is his dominant trait then he seems like he belongs in Slytherin.
Yusuf - Ravenclaw
It’s honestly bizarre to consider the idea that a controlled dream state could be adjusted and perfected by mere chemical compounds, but Yusuf not only understood that idea, he managed to make it happen by himself.
When it comes to trapping someone in a dream world the specifics can be very complex and dangerous, but the entire team is only capable of doing what they do with Robert Fischer because of Yusuf’s exceptional sedative compounds. He’s a truly brilliant mind, even among other brilliant minds, which makes him an ideal candidate for house Ravenclaw at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Miles - Gryffindor
It’s hard to say for sure since the history of this bizarre dream walking technology isn’t really explained throughout the movie, however just based on the fact that Professor Miles was the man who mentored Cobb in the skill would seem to indicate that he was at the forefront of this technique’s development.
It obviously takes a lot of intelligence to be on the cutting edge of this kind of incomprehensible technology, but it also takes an incredible amount of boldness to actually willingly be one of the early test subjects. For that reason, it seems like Miles was destined for Gryffindor.
Mal - Hufflepuff
Given that Mal’s dad and husband both appear to be geniuses, it seems more than fair to assume that she is no slouch in the intellectual department either. But someone’s Hogwarts house isn’t entirely determined by their natural intellect or disposition, it can obviously be very strongly influenced by what the individual values more than anything.
And given Mal’s life (and death) experiences, it seems like the thing she cared most about was love. The uses of the dream state manipulation appear to be almost infinite, so the fact that she chose to use it to give herself a long and happy life with her husband says a lot.
Saito - Ravenclaw
Saito seems like the kind of guy who may have belonged in Slytherin simply because of the lengths he will go to in order to get at his business competitors, but with the context that his business is the only thing standing in the way of a Fischer family monopoly it’s a little easier to give him a break.
And while it seems like the whole dream invasion business is pretty established in the world of Inception, it took some serious creative thinking for him to figure out that a technique that most people have never even conceived of could be the key to undermining his competition, which is why he seems like a Ravenclaw.
Eames - Gryffindor
Out of the entire squad of dream invaders, it seems like Eames is easily the boldest and brashest of the bunch. He’s not afraid to “dream a little bigger, darling,” and it seems like that particular attitude and style makes him perfectly suited for a spot in house Gryffindor.
Eames seems like the kind of guy who would have been friends with Fred and George Weasley if he went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and it honestly would have been interesting to see him develop if he grew up around a bunch of like minded individuals.
Arthur - Gryffindor
Everyone who is a member of the literal dream team is a genius in their own right, but Arthur is really the man who is tasked with organizing the details. Honestly, there is nothing in particular that sets him apart as someone who is specifically the kind of person who would be interested in this kind of job.
However, it’s clear that Arthur is pretty unafraid to try what most people would shy away from, and that, combined with the fact that he seems to be a total badass (at least in the dream state), makes him a Gryffindor.
Robert Fischer - Hufflepuff
Robert Fischer was pretty much ordained from birth to have an exceptional life, and he presumably could have achieved a lot with the privileges that his family afforded him. But the entire film is based around Cobb’s team trying to implant an idea into Fischer’s mind in order to essentially change the direction of the entire world, and they seemingly do so successfully by simply giving Fischer the idea that his father really did care for him.
Clearly he cared more about a good family and feeling loved by his loved ones than he cared about everything else, making him a pretty obvious Hufflepuff.
Ariadne - Ravenclaw
Dom even said it himself, he had never seen someone pick up the art of dream architecture faster than Ariadne did. Ariadne is clearly a very clever girl, but she is actually the kind of student that Rowena Ravenclaw undoubtedly would have idealized.
She’s book smart obviously, but what really sets her apart from the rest of the pack is her seemingly boundless creativity. She can imagine the impossible and has all of the brain power that it takes to actually build it, and she doesn’t intellectually limit herself in any way whatsoever.
Dom Cobb - Hufflepuff
Although Dom Cobb is inarguably a literal genius, his constant recurring subplot throughout the film reveals his true inner nature. The fact that he used his abilities to create a long and happy life with his wife, and the fact that she haunts his every subconscious thought now that she’s gone, demonstrates that home is where the heart is for Cobb.
His entire goal in life is simply to return to his children, and he’s willing to use every skill in his arsenal to make that happen. On the surface he is absolutely a pitch perfect pick for house Ravenclaw, but at his core he is totally a Hufflepuff.
